Cluttered corner of a crackhead

I am completely out of my mind. I don't think I will even find  it ruminating in a pasture. (It's too lazy to traverse) I think it's still where it is supposed to be, but it just refuses to work anymore.The reason? Well I'm a 20 year old going through a quarter life crisis. Basically I want to do too many things- Learn to drive, learn to plan and study well, learn to be more disciplined, learn to be more focused, learn to prioritize, learn to be able to complete by assignments on time blah blah blah. The funny part is I just realized I've got to learn to do all this in this one year....Also I used to think the process of being responsible is a comprehensive aspect of growing up. When I was 18 I thought "It's okay to be irresponsible, it's okay to have a little fun, I'll grow up till I'm 20!" But the truth is 'I NEVER GREW UP!" Infact I think I'm gaining a lot of weight really fast, alienating myself from the very people I used to call my friends a few months ago. I just don't get them sometimes, their discourses make me feel like I just landed on Earth from planet Mars.  To feel good I started reading all those self help blogs and even watched 'The Secret'. So my plan is to visualize what I want to achieve this year and keep thinking about it, until I am determined to achieve it.

1) About the driving- I had this visual- I come running  to my mom and dad and say "Mom, Dad! Your daughter has successfully managed to avoid killing an old woman crossing the street, a lady with a baby and a man on a cycle while she drove all the way from the house to your office!" And they would both be proud of me, while leaving I would go close to my dad and whisper "By the way, I was parking and I accidentally hit your bike, you can now buy a new one and you're welcome!" :D

2)I never was a nerd, I mean I like the way people look when they study but I know I could never be one of them, I could NEVER LOOK like them! Until a few years ago I met this crazy girl (Now my Bestfriend) who inspired me to open my books and actually read it (I always thought blankly staring at my notes will magically feed information into my brain). Now it's been a while since I planned things and started studying sincerely. So what I imagine is that One day I just want to get into one of the best universities for an MA in Journalism or Mass Communication course, and then complete my PhD.

3) Assignment Completion- I want NO MORE of those assignments. I just need to able to study with some focus but these troublesome assignments can cause too many distractions. I'll explain with a very classic example- I open a webpage to about some research and end up watching Ray William Johnson's YouTube videos or searching for some Hot new Hugh Jackman pictures.

4)I've planned my vacations very well but I didn't get spare time to plan my timetable for the upcoming final exams!

Here's a list of things I have planned
1)I want to visit all the historic places in mumbai- Forts, Lakes, Dams. I've got almost 20 places that I really need to visit! (Reason- Before I travel the world, I want to know my own city inside out- every architectural marvel, every corner, every pavement, every road, every story behind it! I know Mumbai loves me as much as I love it.
2)Trip to Goa- If my friends don't turn up. I've made a promise to travel all by myself. I'm in love with beaches (They provide me with the space and time to introspect), some good sea food minus the bones, maybe some insomnia, some typically 'I am so cool because I'm 20 and still single conversations' which help me rationalize, I think it's a part of 'The Grapes are sour attitude' that I've learnt from psychology.
3)Dance- I want to dance, dance and dance again. It's been ages since I've stopped and there is a possibility that I may end up making a fool out of myself. But I'm going to dance like no one's watching, get drunk and either end up  knocking someone out or myself out.
4) Relishing a great book on a lounging chair of a beach, maybe steal a glace at some hot firangis playing football on the shore or trying to avoid those tharki men who seem to be looking at you like they have an inbuilt scanning machine inside their eyeballs.

3)Plan for my exam- Ermm....Plan of Action- Just be a dedicated and focused person who tries to understand the infinite concepts floating inside my brain but which never really register themselves in any one part of it.