I have a Beard

You may think I've lost my mind. Yes, I've always been completely insane. One reason why my mother is always scared about how I'm going to get married! What's with Indian mothers and marriages? Everytime they want to threaten us they use the word 'Marriage' and girls turn into Bheegi Billies. I mean, who will marry someone who calls her room an organized mess? or who grunts every time she laughs? (Believe me- You need to say something really really funny if you want to hear my ORIGINAL LAUGHTER. Who wants to marry an absent minded girl? Although I will definitely marry the guy but I'm sure I will forget him somewhere and go for the honeymoon all by myself! 

So bouncing back to my title I have my reasons to have a beard :-

#1 Every man looks saaaxyyy in a beard, I've always been jealous of men who have a beard and long hair and walk around like they just don't care. It's easy, effortless and sexy!

#2 Clueless and Classy- So you don't comprehend what a person is saying, the easiest way to look intelligent is to  keep stroking your beard. You may be clueless, but it still makes you look all classy.

#3 Beard of Evil- Beards give you a very impish look. An impression of a smoking hot intellectual dude who can woo any girl he wants to. Because you belong to the  Stroke the Beard trope.

#4 I'm inspired by the  lazy bearded dragons. They are lethargic and hungry all the time.  They don't search for food on their own. 

So I have a choice, either I change the privacy settings of this post or let it be read by my mother, I'm assured that the implication would be her fainting. But she knows already that her daughter is a son in disguise. And aren't blogs supposed to be a form of honest reporting? People who read my blog and think I'm not straight are jackasses. I'm just saying I love bearded men, I'm also saying that I have an imaginary beard not because I don't respect my own gender, but because I'm jealous of these men with beards. And our egalitarian (A word that is conceptual in this day and age) and democratic society allows women to fantasize about everything under the sun! Even hot men ;)

(P.S - I have no intention of growing one, I knew it would arouse your curiosity if I give a  wacky name to my post. Strategic PR you know.)